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Family Support
Having a family member or friend with a drug or alcohol problem is hard. You love them, but more often than not you are not sure what to do, or how best to support them. At Clean4life Global, we understand these issues. We provide professional support and advice for friends and families.
Family & friends support
It's difficult to have family members or friends who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. You care about them, yet offering assistance may appear to be encouraging their addiction or exacerbating the problem. Clean4life is aware of this problem and offers guidance and help to friends and family.
Calling a professional to discuss your problem is the finest advise we can provide anyone. Family members, friends, and coworkers who are concerned about someone's drinking or drug use should call Clean4life for a free phone consultation. As part of our online dayhab treatment, we also provide a family programme that provides treatment for up to two family members or friends while one of the family members is in treatment with us.
There will be an educational element to these sessions. The topics will be eclectic but will cover subjects such as:
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. The nature of addiction
. What does genuine recovery look like and how to support someone in recovery
. Co-dependency - What is it and why might it be present in family relationships?
. Family dynamics and communication building including the roles people play in the family, i.e. caretaker, enabler, rescuer.
The session also includes an online group therapy component. Essentially, this will be a time for family members to share their experiences, anxieties, and concerns. It will allow them to seek mutual support, identify with others in similar situations, and get a better understanding of their family roles. It will also allow them to come up with answers to the problems you're having.
You can discover more about our admissions procedure if you or someone you know is seeking treatment. A cost breakdown of our services is also available. To learn more about our free telephone advice service, please contact us.
For anyone dealing with an addict, there are a few general pieces of advise.
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Pleas, begs, bribes, reprimands, and ultimatums will not be effective. Your family or friend is stuck in their cycle and no longer cares about themselves. They just care about getting their next drink or drug dose. That isn't to imply they don't care about you or your relationship; it's just that their judgement is clouded by their addiction.
What does not work
What does work
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. Keeping conversations generalised and open-ended rather than accusatory and attributing blame or putting them on a guilt trip.
. If the conversation gets heated, walk away rather than digging your heels in and arguing.
. Avoid criticism.
. Demonstrate concern.
. Do not give solutions when you haven’t been asked.
. Change your approach – if you keep doing things the same way the outcomes will also be the same.
. Contact Clean4life for professional help and advice.
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The Details
Empathise is one of the most crucial things you can do for someone who is suffering with drugs or alcohol. This can be difficult, but it's typically the most effective approach to connect with someone who is struggling.
People always want to make their own decisions, so rather than forcing them, an empathic approach can assist them in reaching the best decision for them.
Setting boundaries is another crucial step. Being sympathetic does not imply that you must tolerate your friend or relative's behaviour or that you must enable their addiction to continue. The key to building healthy relationships is to set clear boundaries.
Some of the boundaries you might want to
set are:
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No drug use at home and/or drunkenness around me and the children (if there are any)
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Let them know what substances and behaviour are acceptable and unacceptable in the home and when they are out with you and your children. Make sure they understand the consequences of violating those boundaries. Will you force them to find somewhere else to stay if they break this boundary or will you leave yourself? You must follow through with any consequences you have set out.
No financial bailouts:
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By establishing a boundary that you will no longer provide money assistance, you are focused on your own emotional and physical health. Setting boundaries will not heal alcohol and drug abuse, but it will keep you and your family safe. You may need to tighten the controls on any joint accounts or open a separate account to safeguard your funds and pay your payments.
No lies, excuses or cover-ups:
Setting a firm boundary that you will not lie, explain, or cover up the consequences of their drug and alcohol usage conveys a message about their own accountability. If they aren't going to work because they are hungover or "stressed out," they will have to call in. If they miss a family gathering or other type of gathering because of their drug or alcohol usage, they will have to justify their absence. They need to know that you will not lie on their behalf if you are questioned where they are.
Finally, do some study on your therapy alternatives and seek expert assistance. The window of opportunity for your friend or relative to have the light bulb moment and realise they need help can be quite short. Because everyone's recovery is different, recognising the therapy options and determining what's best for them is crucial when deciding on treatment. Once the options are put forth, assist them in selecting the best solution for them and obtaining professional assistance.
Outside support
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Our family programme is a significant component of our services, and we encourage our clients' families to take use of it. We understand how difficult life can be for individuals who have a loved one who is battling with dangerous drinking or drug use. For those families who do not have a loved one in treatment with us, the following is a list of the most important organisations in the UK that give family assistance.
Adfam
Adfam is the national charity working to improve life for families affected by drugs and alcohol. It aims to empower family members and carers, support frontline workers and influence decision-makers to prevent alcohol and drugs from destroying families. Using compassion and evidence, the charity informs, supports and empowers both people affected by a loved one’s substance use and the workers who support them.
020 3817 9410
Al-Anon
Al-Anon Family Groups provide support to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else’s drinking, regardless of whether that person is still drinking or not. The organisation is a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experiences to solve their common problems. It has over 800 support groups in the UK and Republic of Ireland.
020 7403 0888
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Bottled Up
Bottled Up offers information and advice for family members living with someone who is alcohol dependent. The two founders of the organisation are a therapist and a psychologist who have direct experience of alcoholism.
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Carers UK
Carers UK provides advice, information and support for carers. They also have an online community of carers and are available to Carers UK members 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
0808 808 7777 (Mondays to Tuesdays, 10am-4pm)
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The Children’s Society
The Children Society’s Stars initiative provides a hub of information, guidance and resources on parental drug and alcohol use, and the impact it has on children and families. Through its work it promotes the voices of children and young people, as well as seeking to influence policy and practice.
0300 303 7000
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DrugFam
DrugFam is a charity that provides support for families affected by alcohol or drug dependency. Through its support services, it aims to provide a lifeline of safe, caring and professional support to families, friends and carers who are struggling to cope with a loved one’s addiction to drugs or alcohol.
0300 888 3853
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Family Lives
Family Lives is a charity with over three decades of experience helping parents to deal with the changes that are a constant part of family life. It aims to support the many people that play active roles in raising children to achieve the best relationship possible with their children, as well as supporting parenting professionals.
0808 800 2222
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Grandparents Plus
Grandparents Plus is the national charity which champions the vital role of grandparents and the wider family in children’s lives – especially when they take on the caring role in difficult family circumstances. Its role involves advising and supporting grandparents and wider family members to ensure they have access to a holistic service, and offering them professional advice, information and casework support.
0300 123 7015
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The Icarus Trust
The Icarus Trust offers support for families of people with addiction, including alcohol dependence. It provides a ‘Family and Friends’ service, whereby trained volunteers offer personal support and help signpost to appropriate professionals who can provide specialist help.
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Nacoa
Nacoa is a helpline charity providing information, advice and support for everyone affected by their parent’s drinking, including adults.
0800 358 3456
You can also find them on Facebook and Twitter.
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Relate
Relate is the UK’s largest provider of relationship support. As well as offering advice and relationship counselling for couples, it also provides advice for parents and other family members to help families deal with difficult times. The charity has a network of Relate Centres across the UK and a group of licensed local counsellors that provide face-to-face counselling and support.
0300 100 1234
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Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol & Drugs
Scottish Families Affected by Alcohol & Drugs exists to support those affected by the substance use of a loved one. It facilitates a Scotland-wide network of family support groups and runs a helpline service.
08080 10 10 11
If you have a problem with alcohol or drugs, or know someone who does, please get in touch with Clean4life Global for free, confidential advice.
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